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Category: Pieces of Me
Close to my heart
I’ve got this beautiful necklace at Elliots funeral, the name of my two boys are engraved at the pendant (Oliver & Elliot). Now I can always keep my two boys close to my heart. When I opened the gift box and saw this beautiful piece of art I was deeply touched. The necklace is handmade by the very talented Petronella Eriksson, she’s a silversmith and a jewelery designer based in Stockholm and is one of the owners of LOD. Thank you Nella, I wear the necklace each and every day!
A year filled with love
My son Elliot has completely changed my life. Forever. Within a time span of two months I had the honor to be the first to welcome and the last to say goodbye to him. I will tell the story from the beginning. It all started on November the 30th, 2010. I was pregnant in week 40+2 and started to feel that the baby would probably come so I took some last minute maternity self portraits.
And I was right, later that night at 9:57 pm our beautiful little Elliot was born. 52 cm long and 3640 grams of pure love.
A newborn Elliot lying on my chest. Photo: Jakob Frändås
I remember that I was feeling so happy. Unfortunately the happiness didn’t last long. On the routine medical examination the doctor thought that he had too weak muscle tone and his newborn reflexes didn’t respond. She gave him 24 hours to become stronger and more active. But 24 hours later the issues still remained. I medical investigation begun, and 13 days after he was born one of his tests came back positive. Elliot had a very rare muscular disease called Spinal Musculare Athrophy (SMA) Type 1. The statics gave him 6 months. From that day we decided to live in the present, and to fully enjoy each day that was given to us. It was a time filled with a lot of love and joy, he spread so much love to everyone around him. Elliot really enjoyed life and he was especially fond of his big brother Oliver. He loved to bath, in the water he could move his legs. He also loved to do the exercises he got from his physiotherapist, when we did them he always smiled. Elliot was far more social than most of the newborns in his age, I guess it was because he didn’t have the motorical development to focus on. The last week in January he got a cold and got hospitalized. They gave him oxygen and kept his airways free from viscous mucus but in the end his little body couldn’t take any more. He took his last breathe on January 30th at 6.20 pm lying in my arms and with his father next to him. No words can describe how much we miss him. If you’re interested you can read a lot more on his blog. Elliot donated his heart valves and blood vessels around the heart after his death which can save up to three children :)
Elliot taught me what really matters in life. He showed me the power of living in the present and that unconditional love is the most beautiful thing in the world. I’m so happy and thankful for each day we got with him. I will always be a very proud mother to both my boys. And I have promised myself not to waste time waiting for things to happen, instead I will make hem happen! Each and every day. I will dedicate my photography to love. I have realized that the one thing you can’t have too much of, is photos of your loved ones. So from this day on, my main focus will be newborns, babies, kids, families and weddings. Generally said happy and positive beings and people in love!
These shots was taking when Elliot was 12 days old (one day before he got his diagnose). It was back then when I thought I had a lot of time to take newborn shots of him…
One thing I forgot to tell you about Elliot is that I liked to go to bed early, preferable around 8 pm and never alone. This particular night he was sad, and we couldn’t figure out why until he suddenly fell asleep in the middle of a cry.
My two boys together :) These photos are really priceless for me.
Elliot eyes was so blue and beautiful. I wish from the bottom of my heart that he was healthy and that I could watch him grow old.
Rest in peace precious child ♥ Mommy will always love you!
A hidden treasure
I was searching my archive for fall photos and found some pictures of my son taken last fall. I can’t believe I missed this one. It’s always a pleasure to find hidden treasures :) My little brother Daniel is turning 25 today, a happy birthday to you!
Little is growing taller
Here are some pictures of a cute little girl called Edla, that was taken last weekend. Jakob and I had the honor to become Edlas godparents on her name giving ceremony last fall. We read this beautiful poem* for her at the ceremony.
med en stor stor själ
ett frö i oändlighetens
I blommande tillit
berörs våra hjärtan
Känn vår tacksamhet
glädje så stor
Varmt välkommen till oss
till denna kärlekens
– Carolina Gårdheim
*The poem is in Swedish and here is my own translation:
“A small body with a great big soul, a seed in the arms of infinity
In flowering trust our hearts are touched by the hands of vertiginous greatness
Feel our gratitude, joy so great and the eyes of wonders among.
Welcome to us beloved child, to this harbor of love”